The Power of Words

Words have enormous power to affect our lives. Solomon said, “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Prov. 18:21). Most people don’t think of words this way. How many people do you meet that just seem to talk? When you leave them you can’t even remember what they said. Then on the other hand there are a few people whose words touch you in such a way as to make you listen. Sometimes they have something funny to say or something inspiring or maybe endearing but always worth listening to. Solomon said such a person was rare, “Gold there is, and rubies in abundance, but lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel” (Prov. 20:15). Let’s examine a few things that make words valuable.

First good words need to be truthful. It is easy to be careless when we speak but it takes effort to make sure our words are accurate. As a counselor I can’t tell you how many times I have seen people who don’t know how to trust people. You know why? It was because they have been lied to—they were the recipients of broken promises one too many times. This process of trust should begin early in life. A child learns to trust her mom or dad because she knows they will do what they say.

Secondly our words need to be controlled. Knowing how to control our words will save us much embarrassment and involvement in needless quarrels. All of us will on occasion encounter someone who is angry and sometimes it will be our own family member. What a blessing to just listen and refrain from speaking words at that moment. Solomon said, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1). If our words are controlled they will not make us angry or incite the anger of another they will help to dissipate the anger and bring peace.

Thirdly our words need to be chosen. A good speaker is first a good listener. He doesn’t give his unsolicited opinion and dominate every conversation. When he speaks he adds something to the flow of conversation. Usually his words are in response to what he has heard someone else speak. This is an art and it has to be learned. One of the best ways to learn to speak like this is to observe those who do. Jesus was that way, “No one ever spoke the way this man does…,” (John 7:46).

Fourthly our words need to build people up. Paul wrote that we should only speak “…what is helpful for building others up” (Eph. 4:29). Words are vehicles that convey what we think, know or feel. Solomon said these kinds of words nourish people, “The lips of the righteous nourish many” (Prov. 10:21). What do we want our words to do to people—to bring delight or to bring sadness? Solomon said, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Prov. 17:22). How many people around us have cheerful hearts versus crushed spirits? I have cringed sometimes to hear a man crush his wife’s spirit or a mother her little child by their thoughtless words. Yes, our words truly have the power of life and death.

Words should come from a reservoir of knowledge. Truthful and factual words come because we are diligent and observant to speaking only the truth and if we don’t we need to make it right. Words of healing, compassion and inspiration come from a heart that has love. Words that inspire and move us come from passion. As powerful as words are for either good or bad they are no more than the essence of what we are as a person. We may think we have done a good job of hiding our anger, indifference or self-pity but we haven’t because our words will betray us. If however we love God and are confident in his love and are aware of how flawed we are but grateful to be his chosen vessels we will speak words of life. Our words will be a blessing to those around us. Solomon said it like this, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Prov. 18:21).