We are
living in a world that tells us there is no difference between the sexes. This
message is communicated in many different ways by varied means. Today in
schools and colleges young people are told that girls and boys act differently
not because they are actually different, but because we train them to act
differently. Little boys and girls are not different except for the physical
differences, but we make them different. Boys play with trucks, and little
girls play with dolls, not intuitively, but because we model that kind of
behavior. However, the scriptures teach that God made males and females
distinct from each other for the very purpose of complementing each other. The
Bible teaches us to celebrate the masculinity of men and femininity in women.
God’s word says there is a divine order to the way men and women are supposed
to relate to each other.
Many boys
and girls are growing up without a clear definition of what it means to be a
man or woman. Masculinity is portrayed to boys as a muscular physique or the
tough guy image that bullies anybody in his way. Often these same men are often
wimps on the inside. Girls are sent the message that femininity is sensual, and
the more you show off your body, the more feminine you are. Given the fact that
many children are growing up in homes where fathers and mothers don’t model
what it means to be a godly man or woman, many children are buying into the
world’s message. From a biblical viewpoint, today’s contemporary message is a
lie.
What does it
mean to be masculine? Isaiah the prophet described what it means to be a man in
this classic statement, “The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect
of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever” (Isaiah 32:17). This
is not a boastful man but a strong man who quietly and confidently trusts God
as he moves toward his purpose in life. At the same time, he is not so wrapped
up in himself but has a sensitive spirit to others. He cares about his wife and
children and makes himself accessible to them and models manly behavior.
The biblical
masculinity in fathers and husbands that I am writing about is mocked today.
The image portrayed by Hollywood is that fathers and husbands are dufuses and
idiots. Kids are growing up in families
where the father does not lead the home. They are observing the man abdicate
and abandon his responsibilities. They are growing into adulthood without ever
seeing a good model of masculinity.
A woman’s femininity
is about her capacity to enjoy and build relationships. Peter described this
gift that women have as “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is of great worth in God's sight” (1 Peter 3:3).
Young people
are being fed a distorted message of what it means to be a man or a woman.
Women are told you don’t need marriage because you don’t need to be under the
thumb of some man. You can have kids if you must without marriage. Celebrities model
this message. You can have kids, have a boyfriend without committing yourself
to anyone and be totally happy. Women are told you can do any job that men can
do, including combat in war. In all of this—women are being convinced that
being just a mother, a wife, a homemaker is a second class occupation. Why
would you do that when you can be yourself?
The feminist
message is robbing women of the gift of enjoying their femininity and enjoying
a family. Feminism robs women of placing family and marriage at the center of
their lives, as the most meaningful part of their existence. Instead, it shames
women into believing that their career should be the most important thing in
their lives. Unfortunately, many women realize only too late that the longing
for a family is a God-given desire.
Larry Crab
writes about the biblical understanding of men and women in marriage:
Husbands and wives both have authority in marriage.
Their authority is equal in responsibility; that is, it is not like a
captain's authority over a sergeant or a sergeant's authority over a private.
Husbands and wives have the authority to serve one another in wisdom and love.
Married partners are authorized by God to give themselves to their mates. This
is their authority.
However, because the sexes are distinct in what they
were fundamentally designed to give and in what brings them the greatest
joy in relationship, the expression of their authority should reflect those
distinctions. At the deepest level, a man serves a woman differently than a
woman serves a man. Headship, the expression of a man's authority to serve, is
characterized by rich involvement and by leadership that includes making
decisions to resolve an impasse. Submission, the expression of a woman's
authority to serve, is characterized by invitation and supportiveness.[1]
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