Setting Fields On Fire

People often engage in dysfunctional games of manipulation with each other in life. Some people are intent on getting what they want at any cost, while others are the victims.

Families play games of control. As a result, dysfunctional patterns develop and are passed on to subsequent generations. Even within the pages of scripture, some of the most famous people had some very dysfunctional problems, which they played out in these games.

Joab, David’s commander of the army, was one of those people, and so was King David and his son Absalom. David had been playing a game of avoiding his son, Absalom, for three years. Joab could see a potential problem if the king and his eldest son, the heir to the throne, did not speak to each other, so he wanted to fix it. Joab brought a wise woman to speak with the king and instructed her on what to say (2 Samuel 14:2). Joab’s strategy involved deception, as all dysfunctional games often do.

The woman pretended to be a widow with a serious problem that seemed unsolvable. One son had killed the other in a moment of heated anger. Her extended family wanted to put to death her only remaining son. The king was ready to help the woman. After telling the king her story, she directed her words to him. You have done something similar: “You have a son you do not speak to and show no mercy to. You are willing to help me, but not your son.”

The king told Joab to go and bring Absalom back from his exile (2 Samuel 14:21). Joab was delighted. His game of manipulation had worked, and then it didn’t. Then David told him, “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” (2 Sam 14:24).

Absalom had been back for two years and had not seen his father. That is, five years altogether that he had not seen his father, when you add the three years of exile. Absalom tried to get Joab to help him see the king, but Joab had had enough of the games. To get Joab’s attention, Absalom instructed his servants to burn Joab’s barley fields (2 Sam 14:30).

There are sons and daughters setting fields on fire to get their father’s attention everywhere. “Dad, I am here. Will you come to my game?” Dad, do you see me?” “Do you have anything to say to me?” Finally, Joab got an appointment for Absalom to see the king; “Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom” (2 Sam 14:33). It was an awkward meeting.

What a different reception the son in Luke’s parable of the lost son receives: He finally realizes he must go home to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” Luke 15:20).