Words have enormous power to affect our lives. Solomon
said, “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Prov. 18:21). Most people
don’t think of words this way. How many people do you meet that just seem to
talk? When you leave them you can’t even remember what they said. Then on the
other hand there are a few people whose words touch you in such a way as to
make you listen. Sometimes they have something funny to say or something
inspiring or maybe endearing but always worth listening to. Solomon said such a
person was rare, “Gold there is, and rubies in abundance, but lips that speak
knowledge are a rare jewel” (Prov. 20:15). Let’s examine a few things that make
words valuable.
First good words need to be truthful. It is easy to be
careless when we speak but it takes effort to make sure our words are accurate.
As a counselor I can’t tell you how many times I have seen people who don’t
know how to trust people. You know why? It was because they have been lied
to—they were the recipients of broken promises one too many times. This process
of trust should begin early in life. A child learns to trust her mom or dad
because she knows they will do what they say.
Secondly our words need to be controlled. Knowing how
to control our words will save us much embarrassment and involvement in
needless quarrels. All of us will on occasion encounter someone who is angry
and sometimes it will be our own family member. What a blessing to just listen
and refrain from speaking words at that moment. Solomon said, “A gentle answer
turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1). If our words
are controlled they will not make us angry or incite the anger of another they
will help to dissipate the anger and bring peace.
Thirdly our words need to be chosen. A good speaker is
first a good listener. He doesn’t give his unsolicited opinion and dominate
every conversation. When he speaks he adds something to the flow of
conversation. Usually his words are in response to what he has heard someone
else speak. This is an art and it has to be learned. One of the best ways to
learn to speak like this is to observe those who do. Jesus was that way, “No
one ever spoke the way this man does…,” (John 7:46).
Fourthly our words need to build people up. Paul wrote
that we should only speak “…what is helpful for building others up” (Eph.
4:29). Words are vehicles that convey what we think, know or feel. Solomon said
these kinds of words nourish people, “The lips of the righteous nourish many” (Prov.
10:21). What do we want our words to do to people—to bring delight or to bring
sadness? Solomon said, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit
dries up the bones” (Prov. 17:22). How many people around us have cheerful
hearts versus crushed spirits? I have cringed sometimes to hear a man crush his
wife’s spirit or a mother her little child by their thoughtless words. Yes, our
words truly have the power of life and death.
Words should come from a reservoir of knowledge.
Truthful and factual words come because we are diligent and observant to
speaking only the truth and if we don’t we need to make it right. Words of
healing, compassion and inspiration come from a heart that has love. Words that
inspire and move us come from passion. As powerful as words are for either good
or bad they are no more than the essence of what we are as a person. We may
think we have done a good job of hiding our anger, indifference or self-pity
but we haven’t because our words will betray us. If however we love God and are
confident in his love and are aware of how flawed we are but grateful to be his
chosen vessels we will speak words of life. Our words will be a blessing to
those around us. Solomon said it like this, “The tongue has the power of life
and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Prov. 18:21).
