Handling Disappointment

How well do you deal with disappointment? It is a good question because we all have to deal with it, like it or not. Some people do not deal with it very well. They become discouraged, lose their enthusiasm, and give up. Others become angry and lash out at those around them. Jesus often dealt with disappointment, and he dealt with it in a way that models appropriate self-control. Take for instance the occasion of the Last Supper what Jesus dealt with:  There was Judas' betrayal, the disciples’ argument over who was the greatest, Peter’s denial, and their overall dullness about what was happening to Jesus.

The fact that one of Jesus’ own disciples who had followed him from the beginning of his ministry could betray him had to sting Jesus to the core. When Judas left the supper and went out into the night, Jesus’ heart was filled with sadness. Yet Jesus responded with love and concern for Judas in spite of the brutal hurt he inflicted on Jesus.

Then Luke records, “Also a dispute arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest” (Lk 22:24). You could not have imagined that in the solemn moment of this last supper, an argument would have erupted, but it did. It seems almost inconceivable that they—the apostles began to argue over who was greatest. They had witnessed Jesus’ humility. They had seen it displayed, and yet they were a million miles from it. Their argument was as if they had never known him. Does it not remind you of our inconsistency and dullness of mind in our own Christian journey? Jesus, nonetheless, was gentle with the disciples and used this occasion to teach about servant leadership. What you are doing here is the way the world looks at power and authority, but not in my kingdom. This is not the way the Kingdom of God operates. We should understand that and implement the kingdom way now. We should live as one who serves. Jesus said, “But I am among you as one who serves” (Luke 22:27).

How dense these disciples were in the Upper Room. Jesus was so close to the cross, and yet his most committed followers were so far from him in spirit. How disheartening this had to be for Jesus. Peter was also overconfident in his ability to withstand opposition. Jesus predicted that he would deny the Lord, and Peter refused to believe it. His most enthusiastic disciple would fail, and he was clueless even when Jesus warned him. What a setback, but Jesus stayed completely focused on Peter’s recovery from his denial.

Jesus described the coming days as troubling for him and that there would be hostility toward him. However, the apostles were completely disconnected from what Jesus was talking about. Jesus said to them, "But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one” (Luke 22:36). It was as if they did not hear what Jesus was saying and chose to hear what they wanted to hear. They focused on the sword that Jesus mentioned without attempting to understand what Jesus meant. Later, when Peter attempted to use his sword, Jesus told him if had needed help to fight he would have called legions of angels.

Though Jesus faced incredible disappointment in his disciples, he never lost his patience; he never lost his focus. His example inspires us to depend on the Holy Spirit to empower us to do ministry the way he did. His example compels us to live faithfully in spite of disappointment and not try to escape it.

Letting Go of Bitterness

I have read that one of the ways certain kinds of monkeys can be trapped is very interesting.  The traps are bottles that are fixed with something sweet inside. When a monkey comes along and sees the treat, he places his hand inside the bottle, but with the prize enclosed in his palm, his fist is too big to get it back out of the bottle. The monkey pulls and pushes to get the treat out, but he will not let it go, not even as his captors approach. How often this happens to us when we hang on to hurts that have been inflicted on us. Unless we let go of our hurts and bitterness, we will become trapped by the past resentments. Even if we get something out of carrying the anger and resentment around, it is not worth it. If we do not let go, we risk losing our authenticity. We have to let all bitterness go.

No man held on to his resentment any tighter than Judas Iscariot. This man was chosen to be one of the twelve apostles, and yet he betrayed Jesus. Luke says, “Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus” (Luke 22:4). How is it even possible that one of Jesus’ own could do this? One who knew Jesus up close and had witnessed his mercy, grace and power for over three years. There is a clue when Luke says that Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve” (Lk 22:3).

Many a marriage has broken up, and no one ever suspected it to happen. Many relationships have become completely broken, and no one ever thought it could happen. It can happen just like that. It did to Judas.

What was it that caused Judas to betray Jesus? Most likely, whatever it was started small. Things like feeling slighted, being taken advantage of, not getting your fair share, or disappointment can be deadly. It is incredible to think that Judas who lived with Jesus and witnessed his power and presence could take such a wrong turn in his life. It should be a warning to all of us that we, too, could change for the worse if we don’t guard our hearts and our authenticity before God.

Luke says that Satan entered Judas. It is for sure that Satan will jump on top of our resentment and use our resentment and hurts to fulfill his plans. Judas was on the inside, and he chose the time and the place to betray Jesus.

At the Last Supper Jesus told his disciples that he knew that one of them would betray him (John 13:21). Apparently, Jesus was very moved when he said this. The response of the disciples was one of shock and dismay. John says, “His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant (John 13:22). Matthew adds, that they began to say one after the other, "Surely not I, Lord?" (Matt 26:22).

Judas played the game by saying “Surely not I, Rabbi?” No one but the Lord knew how treacherous his heart was. The thing that stands out to me here is the restraint the Lord exercised.  It’s clear that Jesus gave no indication to the disciples that Judas had a problem because none of them suspected Judas. Had Jesus showed any attitude toward him, the rest of the disciples would have turned on him immediately. What restraint and what love Jesus had even for the likes of Judas.