The Pathology of the Family

Human depravity is the downward spiral of human thought and behavior. From the evidence, it doesn’t appear that we are getting better. Moses wrote, “The Lord saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time (Gen 6:5). His words are emphatic that the collective human heart had reached a place of total depravity.

Is there not similarity to our world today? There is an obsession with sexuality because inappropriate sexual acts are seen on major networks at all times of day or night. Talk shows introduce the most appalling and vulgar subjects with no reservations. Dignity and decorum have vanished in our culture. Profanity is used everywhere, including by parents in front of their children.

When we have mass shootings by troubled teens, we quickly learn the context. Their human connections had broken down; they witnessed failed marriages, lived in broken homes, and idolized violence. Violence is revered everywhere, in movies, videos, games, and it is only a matter of time until some troubled individual tries to copy what he has seen.  Our world is more like Noah’s world than we imagine. The world in Noah’s day was influenced and controlled by spiritual forces, and so is our world. Paul stated it this way, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Eph 6:12).

When you have heard the pathology of today’s family, and it is filled with sorrow, pain, anguish, and bitterness, you feel sadness. When a little boy is bounced back and forth from mom to dad and given medicine so he can calm down, your heart aches for him. When a small child cries and believes it is her fault that her mom and dad have gone their separate ways, you want to cry. When a father who is supposed to love his daughter, sexually abuses her, you feel disgusted. When a mother who is supposed to nurture her infant abandons him, you feel repulsed. When you see an anxious child living in a home fraught with conflict, your heart breaks. When a teenager who is so woefully unprepared for life falls into the clutches of addiction, you cringe. We wonder what’s wrong with our world, but if we looked at what’s wrong with our homes, we would find the answer.

This kind of assessment of our world is discouraging if we did not realize that wherever there is great sin, there is greater grace. In that godless and distorted world, we read these words about Noah, “But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord” (Gen 6:8). Noah was a sinner like all the rest of us, but he realized it, and he asked God for forgiveness and received grace. The grace way is the only safe way to live in our world. It is possible to walk with God today the way Noah did because God gives us his grace. We need his help in our marriages, our families, and our work. Our only hope is in God's grace.

Run the Race

In the book of Hebrews, the author gives us a Hall of Faith chapter (Heb 11:1-40)). What a list of inspiring people is presented in this chapter. Each lived a faithful life and finished well. In the following chapter, he uses the analogy of a race to help us prepare for the most critical race we will ever run. Those who have already run this race are cheering for us from the stands. Then, in the first three verses, he tells us how to run this race.

First, strip away any sin in our lives that entangles us. That is an apt description of all sin because it trips us up. We are encouraged to tear those sins away in preparation for running the race the way a runner would strip away his outer clothing. Not all sin is as ensnaring to each of us because we are more vulnerable to certain sins. It is precisely those sins we must be aware of and strip them away so we can run the race.

Secondly, strip away the hindrances. These hindrances may not be a sin, but if they hold us back from running, they are deadly.  It could be a relationship, a habit, or even an enjoyment. If it slows us down or causes us to drop out of the race of life—then it is a bad thing.

Thirdly, run the race with perseverance. This race is not a sprint—it is a grueling marathon! It’s the runners who know how to pace themselves and keep plodding who finish the race. The race we run is never a straight line with shade trees and places of oasis along every mile. Some of us encounter barren stretches. Some climb mountains while others prod plains, but to each is our race. Our job is to run the race that is marked out for each of us.

Fourthly, focus on Jesus. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2). Jesus grew tired and got hungry but never stopped running his race. We are commanded to run the race looking at him and run the way he did. We need a model to show us how to do it, and Jesus is that example. The writer says to consider Jesus’ attitude and how he responded to mean and sinful men when they did terrible things to him. Jesus looked at the joy set before him because this helped him to set aside the humiliation of enduring the shame of the cross.

I remember how the task of teaching my daughter, Carin, to ride a bike was not the easiest task in the world. She would do all right as long as she knew my hand was on the back of the bike. If she ever looked back and saw that I had taken my hand off or that I had stopped running behind her, she would tumble over. We had so many crashes because of that. After many tries, I decided to get her started and run ahead of her so that she would follow me, and it worked. The results were immediate. I became her goal on which she could focus, and in so doing, she was able to keep her balance. This is how we are to run the race—looking at Jesus every step of the way.