The best parents are the ones who are trying to be authentically true to
their core beliefs. To say it in another way, I believe the best parents are
not the ones who are concentrating on parenting all the time; instead, they
live life by their convictions. Our children have a way of catching these
beliefs from us if they see their value and benefit.
Parents today often do everything possible to seek the happiness of their
children. Although their intentions may be good, the outcome often is not. They
make the happiness and pleasure of their children their primary goal of
parenting, going so far as to spend money they really don’t have—giving their
children the false impression they can have anything in life, whether they can
afford it or not. Parents often work
tirelessly to remove any painful or uncomfortable situations from their
children’s lives as soon as they arise—never allowing them to learn from those
tough challenges. This is something that God doesn’t even do for us. They
shield their children from anything fearful—failing to help them learn to be
brave in the face of fear.
Desiring our children to be brave and humble means that we have to teach
them discipline, and removing every painful situation is not the means to learn
how to be brave. Every child needs discipline in the form of boundaries and
principles of how to react to the varied situations they encounter. Discipline
is like the forms that we pour concrete into so that it has form and
usefulness. Though discipline requires a lot of work, believe me, when I say
that an undisciplined life is in the end much more work.
I want to encourage parents to resist the temptation to say to your
child, “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.” Say rather, “Let’s pray about
it and think about it, and we can talk about this again.” In this approach you
are teaching your child to consider God in every situation and learn dependence
upon him.
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