Controlling Anger

 We have one of the richest stories about controlling anger that comes to us from the story of David’s life. David and his 600 men were fugitives on the run from King Saul. During one period, his men protected the livestock of the shepherds of a rich man named Nabal. David sent men during the shearing time, which was like harvest time, to ask for a gift for his men. Nabal was reaping the benefits of having security for his flocks at no cost to himself from David’s men. At the same time, David and his men needed sustenance. David’s requested some kindness and generosity.

Nabal, a fool, was rich in possessions but nothing else. He was not rich in friendship, knowledge, or meaningful deeds. Nabal pretended that he did not know who David was. And asked why he should give his bread, water, and meat to someone he didn’t even know. However, his questions suggest that he knew very well who David was! He referred to him contemptuously as “the son of Jesse” (1 Sam 25:10-11).

David’s reaction was impulsive. He instructed his men to strap on their swords, and he vowed to kill every male in Nabal’s household (1 Sam 25:21-22). David was furious. Nabal had returned “evil” for the “good” David had done him. We are struck, however, by how David reacts to Nabal differently than he responded to Saul when he had the opportunity to kill him. David had learned to wait on God and refused to take his own vengeance. But now, his restraint is gone.

Abigail, Nabal’s wife, was informed of the foolish insults her husband had hurled at David’s messengers, and she immediately took action. She brought gifts and hurried to meet David. She asked David to ignore the fool—Nabal. She did not know his servants had come. She would not have sent them away empty-handed. She prayed that David would leave his enemies to God and let him deal with them. She reminded him of what he had recently done for Saul. Abigail connected the dots for David! She accepted the blame and asked David to forgive the offense so that his conscience would not be stained by the shedding of innocent blood. She asserted that she knew David would one day be king, and David must be a man who trusted God.

Abigail’s speech was as effective as God used her to speak to David. David backed away from his intent to harm and kill. He admitted that Abigail’s intervention had stopped him from committing bloodshed.

Anger is a learned reaction to frustration. It causes us to behave in public and in ways we will later regret. Severe anger is insanity, where we are temporarily insane. David was temporarily insane, but thanks to a rational and sane person, he was able to control his anger. Anger hurts those it aims at but destroys those who house the anger. May God give us more Abigails who have the common sense to speak to us in our moments of insanity.